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May, 2001
From the Trenches
Steve Gabriel
Passing on the Faith: A Father's Role
The responsibility we assume by bringing a new life into the world is truly awesome. I'm not referring to the responsibility of providing food, clothing, shelter and education, as challenging as that might be. After all, a well-run institution can provide these things to children. The most important responsibility that a father has toward his children is to be the example that will inspire his kids to embrace his faith and grow in the virtues.
It is common knowledge that the most effective manner of teaching is through example. This is true in spades when it comes to passing faith to our children. I write from my own perspective as a Catholic, but I'm sure that those of you from other religions will find much of what follows below applicable.
Simply sending our kids to faith-based schools is not adequate. Our children need to see that our faith is alive in us. It must be clear to them that our faith affects the way we live--and it affects it for the better! If we don't struggle to live according to the teachings of Christ, our children will see this and discount anything we say or anyone else says about the truth of the Gospel message.
What can we do as fathers to pass our faith on to our children? There are many practical steps we can take in addition to ensuring that our kids receive a good religious education. The first step is to look in the mirror and ask ourselves how seriously we take our faith. Are we truly seeking to build a friendship with Christ? Do we do this with deeds? Or are we all talk?
The second step is to begin reading scripture daily. Spend just five minutes a day. I suggest starting at the beginning of the New Testament and go from there. Over the years you will read and reread the account of Our Lord's life and teaching many times. And most importantly, you will grow in your knowledge of Christ and his teaching.
The third step is to spend a fixed amount of time (15 minutes or so) each day in mental prayer. Use a spiritual book to help stay focused. This is how we will develop our relationship with Jesus. If we don't spend time conversing with him, we will never develop a true friendship.
The fourth step is to attend daily Mass if possible. How can we expect our kids to believe us when we teach them that the Eucharist is the body, blood, soul and divinity of Christ, if we are blasé about receiving Him at Holy Mass? That is, if we only attend Mass when we have to--on Sundays and holy day's of obligation?
We also need to frequent the Sacrament of Penance and develop a genuine devotion to our Blessed Mother. Of course, these steps are just starters--but we have to start somewhere.
In short, our faith must be an integral part of our lives--not like a choir frock that we check at the door when we leave church each Sunday. Your reply may be, "But, I don't have that kind of faith!" While that may be true, it doesn't have to be that way. Ask Our Lord to give you a deep faith. He will not deny you the faith you need. But, he will expect you to do your part.
Steve Gabriel is the author of "Speaking to the Heart: A Father's Guide to Growth in Virtue"
which can be ordered directly from
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