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June, 2001
From the Trenches
Steve Gabriel
Workaholism: It Can Even Happen to Nice Guys
Many fathers are consistently working far too many hours. We may work these hours because the office culture seems to require it. Or, our employer may actually demand that we spend an excessive number of hours on the job. For some of us, work may be an escape from the demands of family life. Regardless of the reasons we spend too much time on the job, it should be clear that excessive work is a disorder that can ruin one's marriage and family life.
Certainly, we have an obligation to work. Indeed, God created man to work. Work is not a punishment imposed on us as a result of the fall of Adam. In fact, prior to the fall, "Yahweh God took the man (Adam) and settled him in the Garden of Eden to cultivate and take care of it" (Genesis 2:15). The work of the industrious man glorifies God when it is performed well and when it is done for motives that are pleasing to God. However, consistently spending too much time at work at the expense of one's family could never be pleasing to God.
We might ask ourselves whether we are merely hard workers or actually workaholics. If you are a workaholic you probably are:
- Hard-driving, competitive, and overly committed to your work.
- Most comfortable when you are working.
- Concerned that you are wasting time when you are sleeping or involved in recreation
- Restless on vacation and frequently cut them short to get back to work.
- Thinking about work during your free time--at home and while socializing.
If we find that we are working too much, it may take heroic action to correct the situation. It may mean taking a stand at work and cutting back on our hours. It may mean changing jobs or even changing careers. These may sound like radical solutions, but many men have taken one of these heroic steps in order to save their marriages or salvage their family life.
Each of us should examine our consciences and discuss the issue with our wives, keeping in mind that our work is good only to the extent that it serves the most important needs of the family. The importance of "bringing home the bacon" is a distant second to being available to our family. We can't be the leaders we are called to be unless we are home enough to influence our kids and love and support our wives.
Steve Gabriel is the author of "Speaking to the Heart: A Father's Guide to Growth in Virtue"
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