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September, 2001

What Dads Do
Patrick DiVietri

A Father Initiates, Serves & Guards Love

    

My previous article was a reminder that God is the author of all life. ("Call no man Father" refers to the sole authorship of life that belongs to God the Father.) The Father initiates life, and man as father is to share in the initiation of life. We see that the guardianship of life begins before the new life. A father must guard the civilization of love from the harm from outside but also from himself. That means that a man must guard every woman from his own desires, which stem not from true sonship or fatherhood, but from self gratification.

Every woman is to be a subject of love and not an object of use. This begins when a man is young as he must learn to treat all human beings and all women with proper dignity and respect. He is to learn to value virginity as a gift of innocence that is to be guarded in every way both in himself and in others. As a boy grows into manhood the responsibility grows. He is to preserve himself and others for the gift of self. Even after marriage a man must guard his wife and children from his own frailty. This is why the Holy Father has reminded men not to lust after their wives for it makes them an object of use and abuses their true dignity. It is that dignity which was authored by God that he must serve. Contraception is not a service of the gift of self but rather a violation of the gift and serves only selfishness, fear and the lack of trust in Divine Providence.

Modern culture seeks to diminish the father's guardianship of his children. A father must guard the life of his children. He must be vigilant as he actively sees to their education, their friends and activities. He must see that all things are consistent with the child's dignity and reflect beauty which is truth. A father must protect his children from exploitation by the media and ideologies, which reduce the child to an object of manipulation. In this light great care should be taken to prevent the spirit of consumerism to be cultivated. This will mean not only the restriction of the child's habits but also his own. The use of the television is an example of an area which the father should be attentive not to expose himself and the most vulnerable members of his family to errors or harmful influence.

When children begin dating it should be with the proper counsel of the parents at an age they judge to be fitting and in a manner which is prudent. The counsel of the parents ought to be sought when discernment takes place concerning a suitable marriage partner. Sadly, often little attention is given to the judgment of the parents in so great a matter. A father ought to consider well to whom he is to entrust his son or daughter.




Dr. DiVietri writes a monthly column for Dad's Den and can be visited at The Family Life Institute.

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