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July, 2002

What Dads Do
Patrick DiVietri

Dads Give Good Example

    

Ward Cleaver or James Bond? (Part 2) If we return to the argument for eliminating the "Ward Cleavers" from family programming we have to ask ourselves, "were the values of those family stories unreal?" Can anyone say that the replacement, "Ted Bundy", is real?" I have heard the actors and directors of "Married, with Children" say how they believe they are expressing the life of the American family. Can any woman say that this is what they want their husband to be? Or that this is what they want the father of their children to be like? Or do they see Bundy's wife as the prototype they seek to emulate? Are these children the models we would like to see our own children molded into? For that matter, we must ask, "Who on television today is a "real father."

Bill Cosby was successful for many years in the role of fatherhood. However, Bill Cosby looked a lot more like Ward Cleaver than James Bond. Furthermore, he had absolutely no resemblance to Ted Bundy. What was the difference between Cosby and Cleaver? Cosby didn't wear a suit and tie at home but his sweaters had to cost at least 300 smackers each. Bill Cosby helped Americans look at the values that bind a family together and he did not violate them. He and Ward Cleaver tried to apply those valuable principles to the daily life experiences of their children. Cosby, like Cleaver, took his wife seriously and treated her with respect. Cosby also, did not take himself, too seriously and was able to accept help to do what was best. Cosby, like Cleaver, treated his children with respect, listened to them, guided them and had no difficulty taking a stand when it was necessary for the good of his children or family.

The same can be said of the efforts of Michael Landon in two of his series, "Little House on the Prairie" and "Highway to Heaven". Both were very successful and both centered upon living a virtuous life of faith.

The images of these characters striving to live principles and virtues provide a hopeful model for young people and adults as well. Before we dismiss the images of characters from TV shows from the past or even at times in the present, although this is more uncommon, we must first ask, "what is the character of this "character"? What values and principles are portrayed in his behavior and speech? And, if for no other reason than to stimulate a conversation, every father should ask his daughters, "Who would you like to marry? Ward Cleaver or James Bond?" And if she answers, "someone like you, dad." Then ask yourself which character do you resemble? I'll bet you a malt, hamburger and fries that it won't be J.B.


Dr. DiVietri writes a monthly column for Dad's Den and can be visited at The Family Life Institute.

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